Cloth versus Disposable

“You will use cloth nappies, of course!” How often does a mother-to-be hear this these days? Really, admit you haven’t been guilty of making this assumption yourself.

I personally, never intended to go cloth. I had major issues with possible nappy leakage and body functions downstairs so the thought of cloth was not pleasant. Mind you, if I didn’t have to wash them….I wish.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, we got a “pleasant” surprize from my dear mother in-law. We received, no less than 25 high quality, super soft, cloth nappies. Oh my. I thanked her, of course and promised faithfully that we will use them.

Never told her exactly what we were going to use them for though.

Baby arrived and we were in the hospital. There, they use cloth and I was ok with it. All I had to do was take it off, wipe baby and toss dirty cloth into the magic collection Shute. It would magically re appear the next day, spotless. Easy!

Baby went to the nursery because of an infection he picked up due to his dry cracked skin when he was first-born. So we battled on for another week with cloth but we noticed that he was getting a rash down there. As the days wore on and the rash got worse, one of the nurses suggested disposable “untill the rash is gone” and lo and behold it worked!

The rash went almost within two nappy changes and stayed gone untill we had to switch to cloth again. He rashed up like he was allergic to the cloth. We were lucky, nobody in the hospital frowned on our decision to use disposable after that. They saw the result and knew it was better for him.

Outside on the other hand, debate was rife. Did you use this cloth, did you use that softener, do you know how many end up on the tip….eeek let me out of here.

We have had our troubles with all types of cloth and disposable nappies (ok Diapers for all my non Australian friends). I have photographic evidence of most rash results with both types but nothing would make me chose one over the other if it does not involve the baby’s comfort. I did my homework and I have found “alternate” types of hygiene options for baby and I chose the one which worked for my baby.

The biggest factor in deciding to use disposable was the dryness. The wee is so concentrated in my children who do not sweat, that it is like acid on their bottoms. Not a nice feeling ,and when you add to that, how many times I would have had to change cloth nappies by the time I had the twins……

I know I contributed to the landfill and I know it will haunt generations from now as well. My options were thus and I went with them. I also know I will spark no end of debate here, but if you look at what cloth did to my babies…..

With love & support

Tarja Kelly

Pigeonholed at birth

I saw a note made by the midwife in the special care nursery, that I didn’t feed my baby enough milk to settle him and that I would leave him to cry and go to bed instead.

This was in 2001, eighteen months before my son was diagnosed with Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia.

What I am now remembering about those first few months, is that note. Not all the time, just when the world looks a bit darker than usual, just before we rise above it all and keep going.

I never got a chance to tell her that the reason my son never settled was that they insisted to keep babies at 37 degrees, wrapped and swaddled without room to move. I never knew that my son was not comfortable roasting away at 37 degrees until he turned 18 months old.

I never got the chance to explain why I had to go to bed leaving him unsettled after feeding him for a solid 3 hours. How exhausted I was, and how I knew he wasn’t in fact, hungry. I didn’t get to feel like I was doing the right thing by my baby from the moment he was born.

How fortunate am I that I was strong enough to block out other’s opinions on how to raise my first-born. I didn’t get the postnatal depression because deep in my heart, I knew my mother taught me well. We never spoke about raising children per-se, but the way I was raised by my beautiful family made me believe I could do that too.

This is why I am teaching now. I talk to and educate anyone and everyone on the importance of listening to the parent. Even if that parent seems totally out of the “norm” give them the chance to talk about their observations of their child. Who knows, the parent might actually turn out to be right? Give first time mothers the chance to listen to their instincts. Don’t bombard them with things before they have had a chance to see their child and listen with their hearts.

When they come to you, listen to them first, don’t dive in and bulldoze  their ideas and worries. The world is ever-changing, people are individuals, NOBODY fits in a pigeonhole.

With love & support

Tarja Kelly